"Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by, not slowly either, but with ropes of steam and spark-spattered wheels and a hoarse roar of power or terror. It's passing, yet I'm the one who's doing all the moving."
-Martin Amis, Money
The quote above by Martin Amis perfectly describes the way I feel about how quickly my highschool career is going by. It's still insane to me that I'm graduating this year. I feel like we should all still be juniors. I don't think any of us truly look like seniors, I mean, some of the taller kids can pass but like 95% of the girls, including myself, are still the same height we were back in freshman year..midget status. Anyways, I'm like realllly sad high school is almost over. I like it here. Sure, some people I could live without, but you'll have that anywhere you go. I feel like I haven't formed the close relationships with my fellow classmates that I would ideally like to have. There's still time to change that, though. My problem with forming the relationships I would now like to have, was that the past three years, I just really did not care. Not just about that, but like, in general. I had too many things outside of school going on to even think about being concerned. They were rough years, but I'm in a new place in my life right now. A MUCH better place. Everything seems to be going in my favor, so hopefully attempting to form some new realtionships will pan out for me.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
MONEY < HAPPINESS
When I think of money, I think of greed. People spend their entire lives trying to make as much money as they can by any means necessary. Don't get me wrong, having money is nice and all, but it's not the most important thing in life.
I have a job at the Marshalls in Robinson making minimum wage, but I really don't mind it. As of this month, it has been a year working there, and I actually like my job. Everyone's super friendly and you get to see some of the weirdest things there, so minimum wage isn't a big deal to me. I don't have to pay bills or anything, so it's no biggie.
I only make around $90-110 a week, but what do I really need the money for? Nothing really. I don't have to go out and spend money to be happy, I'd much rather just do something outside. Cecilia and I go on walks pretty much every day and were perfectly content with just walking. I don't see the point in spending money if it isn't necessary.
Some people don't get money to spend it though, they want it just to say that they have it. As if they're actually impressing someone with their bank account. The people that are impressed with money are gold diggers and not true friends anyways.
Honestly, I could care less about money. When I get older and am on my own I'd like to have enough money to be able to live comfortably, but that's really all I need.
Money DOES NOT equal happiness.
I have a job at the Marshalls in Robinson making minimum wage, but I really don't mind it. As of this month, it has been a year working there, and I actually like my job. Everyone's super friendly and you get to see some of the weirdest things there, so minimum wage isn't a big deal to me. I don't have to pay bills or anything, so it's no biggie.
I only make around $90-110 a week, but what do I really need the money for? Nothing really. I don't have to go out and spend money to be happy, I'd much rather just do something outside. Cecilia and I go on walks pretty much every day and were perfectly content with just walking. I don't see the point in spending money if it isn't necessary.
Some people don't get money to spend it though, they want it just to say that they have it. As if they're actually impressing someone with their bank account. The people that are impressed with money are gold diggers and not true friends anyways.
Honestly, I could care less about money. When I get older and am on my own I'd like to have enough money to be able to live comfortably, but that's really all I need.
Money DOES NOT equal happiness.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
In Loving Memory...
The day of my life I would like to forget-
April 14th, 2006,
a day of much pain,
my uncle's murder,
such a great soul that was never to be heard from again,
all of my family in tears, weaping,
such an immense loss,
an absolute injustice,
the most compassionate man I knew was simply gone.
The void left in my heart, never to be filled.
My uncle Mike was the most caring person I have ever met. Sure, he had his faults, but who doesn't? His family was ALWAYS his priority. He left behind a wife and four kids, two of who were too young to even have any real memories of their dad. They ask about him all the time at family gatherings, but it's still too difficult to talk about with them. Even simply writing this is hard, but I want everyone to better understand his story.
As I said, he had his faults, which included surrounding himself with the wrong kind of people... The coward who killed him was someone my uncle called his "brother". HIS BROTHER FOR CHRISTS SAKE.
Another one of my uncle's faults...he was addicted to heroin. I wouldn't be telling you all this, except it is an important part of his story. The "man" that killed him conned him into going into the woods with him to get a 'fix'.
He shot my uncle, point-blank, in the back of his skull. The bastard didn't even have the courage to pick an actual fight with him because, quite frankly, he would have gotten his ass handed to him.
Anyways, I was at my grandma's house when the news of it came. I was only eleven years old at the time.
The first thing that I remember from that day was the knock on the door..it was the cops. Then the next thing I saw was my other uncle that was over came busting into the kitchen where me and my younder sister were watching tv...he fell to the ground crying hysterically and continuously screamed "WHY GOD WHY!?". No one even had to tell me. I ran to the bathroom and cried by myself. I felt as if I had to be strong for my sister.
I went in the living room and gave my grandma a hug and we cried together for quite some time. Then she picked up the phone and called everyone in the family and told them that it was an emergency and that they needed to come over immediately. I went back in the kitchen. It was 20 minutes before anyone got there. They all rushed in with worried looks on their faces and kept asking what was going on. I walked in the room. My grandma looked down and gently said between sobs "Michael's dead.". I had to sit there and watch every single person in my family break down. Some people sat down and sobbed. But most just completely lost their minds and were on the floor. They had lost all control, I mean, it was such a great loss.
That vision of all of the strong people in my family, just laying on the ground crying is something that haunts me to this day. I still cant decide which was harder to deal with, the actual death or the reactions. Kind of alot to handle for an eleven year old, huh?
Five years later, the man who did it is in jail. What goes around, comes around. While he was awaiting trial, his 19 year old son was shot to death in a gang related crime. The judge wouldn't let him out for the funeral. How's that for karma? I feel no sorrow for him. I think he deserves that and so much more. He is the only person that I truly hate. I mean, like I TRULY TRULY hate him with everything in me. Let's get real, who wouldnt?
Whenever I turn 18, I plan on going to visit him in jail. I want him to see the pain he's caused and I'm gonna give him hell. Ill bring pictures of my uncle and his wife and kids, to show the family that he destroyed. And hopefully those pictures will remind him of his own kids (he has 19 of them..yeah, not all with the same woman. so lots of baby mama dramaaa) that he will never get to see again,
REST IN PEACE UNCLE MIKE <3
April 14th, 2006,
a day of much pain,
my uncle's murder,
such a great soul that was never to be heard from again,
all of my family in tears, weaping,
such an immense loss,
an absolute injustice,
the most compassionate man I knew was simply gone.
The void left in my heart, never to be filled.
My uncle Mike was the most caring person I have ever met. Sure, he had his faults, but who doesn't? His family was ALWAYS his priority. He left behind a wife and four kids, two of who were too young to even have any real memories of their dad. They ask about him all the time at family gatherings, but it's still too difficult to talk about with them. Even simply writing this is hard, but I want everyone to better understand his story.
As I said, he had his faults, which included surrounding himself with the wrong kind of people... The coward who killed him was someone my uncle called his "brother". HIS BROTHER FOR CHRISTS SAKE.
Another one of my uncle's faults...he was addicted to heroin. I wouldn't be telling you all this, except it is an important part of his story. The "man" that killed him conned him into going into the woods with him to get a 'fix'.
He shot my uncle, point-blank, in the back of his skull. The bastard didn't even have the courage to pick an actual fight with him because, quite frankly, he would have gotten his ass handed to him.
Anyways, I was at my grandma's house when the news of it came. I was only eleven years old at the time.
The first thing that I remember from that day was the knock on the door..it was the cops. Then the next thing I saw was my other uncle that was over came busting into the kitchen where me and my younder sister were watching tv...he fell to the ground crying hysterically and continuously screamed "WHY GOD WHY!?". No one even had to tell me. I ran to the bathroom and cried by myself. I felt as if I had to be strong for my sister.
I went in the living room and gave my grandma a hug and we cried together for quite some time. Then she picked up the phone and called everyone in the family and told them that it was an emergency and that they needed to come over immediately. I went back in the kitchen. It was 20 minutes before anyone got there. They all rushed in with worried looks on their faces and kept asking what was going on. I walked in the room. My grandma looked down and gently said between sobs "Michael's dead.". I had to sit there and watch every single person in my family break down. Some people sat down and sobbed. But most just completely lost their minds and were on the floor. They had lost all control, I mean, it was such a great loss.
That vision of all of the strong people in my family, just laying on the ground crying is something that haunts me to this day. I still cant decide which was harder to deal with, the actual death or the reactions. Kind of alot to handle for an eleven year old, huh?
Five years later, the man who did it is in jail. What goes around, comes around. While he was awaiting trial, his 19 year old son was shot to death in a gang related crime. The judge wouldn't let him out for the funeral. How's that for karma? I feel no sorrow for him. I think he deserves that and so much more. He is the only person that I truly hate. I mean, like I TRULY TRULY hate him with everything in me. Let's get real, who wouldnt?
Whenever I turn 18, I plan on going to visit him in jail. I want him to see the pain he's caused and I'm gonna give him hell. Ill bring pictures of my uncle and his wife and kids, to show the family that he destroyed. And hopefully those pictures will remind him of his own kids (he has 19 of them..yeah, not all with the same woman. so lots of baby mama dramaaa) that he will never get to see again,
REST IN PEACE UNCLE MIKE <3
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Life Metaphor
Life is a roller coaster ride
We start out nervous and unsure,
Not entirely aware of what to expect.
Strap in for the ride.
Plenty of ups and downs, in peacefulness and war time.
Takes you on a whirl wind adventure,
Makes your head spin, so in love.
What a ride...
Unexpected twists and turns,
It's what makes us all stronger.
All of us similar in some way,
Yet how we compose ourselves for the ride is what separates one from the next;
Showing one's true disposition
No ride truly identical to the next.
We start out nervous and unsure,
Not entirely aware of what to expect.
Strap in for the ride.
Plenty of ups and downs, in peacefulness and war time.
Takes you on a whirl wind adventure,
Makes your head spin, so in love.
What a ride...
Unexpected twists and turns,
It's what makes us all stronger.
All of us similar in some way,
Yet how we compose ourselves for the ride is what separates one from the next;
Showing one's true disposition
No ride truly identical to the next.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)